Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
