Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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