I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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