Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
