Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
