I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
