she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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