Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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