She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My balls are so social today.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
