if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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