I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
