Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
