the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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