I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
