i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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