What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
