why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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