im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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