That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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