No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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