with your own penis?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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