? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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