their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
