If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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