you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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