So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
