Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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