I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
