Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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