I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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