He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
