he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
