Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
