Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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