she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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