hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
