If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My friends, they love my intelligence
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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