got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
