Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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