what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Randomize
