that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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