I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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