I think I died a long time ago.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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