i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
