$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We are all done wearing pants today
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
