And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
