a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
