We're like a lot better than the average bears
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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