fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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