I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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