u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
