Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
