U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
